Biggest Gift You Can Give Your Children

Parents want the best for their children in all aspects of life. Most parents approach parenting with the drive to give their children everything that they did not have or get. While this philosophy is well-intentioned, parents often confuse this idea by focusing on material or external things, reinforcing immediate gratification and short-term happiness. By doing so, the overarching desire to enrich children's internal sense of themselves and connection to what makes them feel fulfilled can become lost.

Parents who are struggling in their marriage have a unique opportunity to show their children that short-term, “grass is greener” solutions are not always the best course of action. When you choose to commit to your marriage, you are modeling how to have a healthy relationship, how to listen, how to turn towards each other, and negotiate win-win outcomes vs win-lose outcomes.

Short-term pain for long-term gain.

The work that you put in upfront in your marriage will pay dividends down the road. If you model how to hang in there when times are tough, your children will learn perseverance, the value of relationships, and the value of family; and at the end of the day, your children will have these values and skills to carry forward in their future relationships.

Remember, a child’s sense of happiness and self is derived from learned and internalized values — most often demonstrated by their parents. The shiny car will not take your children very far (literally and figuratively). Show up for them with your behaviors and teach them how to commit to a healthy life and a healthy family.